A Page from a
Counsellor’s Diary
“oh! Aunty, I’m fed up with life”- murmurs a 13yr old girl……..
“I’m getting bored, life is quite boring……Feel like putting
an end to everything………!! –screams a 14yr. old……
-The
former is the only daughter of a ‘successful couple’-both working in a
flourishing multinational firm and the latter-the only son of a leading
business man…-{both of them – clients of mine-goes without saying-}, live a
life of luxury-luxurious villa to live in, loving parents-always willing to comply
with even the silliest demands of their child-always at the service of their
only kid-even in the midst of their busiest schedules….
But it seems, the teenagers in both the aforementioned cases
were fed up with life-so fed up that the girl in the case –(
first-mentioned-)-even attempted suicide j!!!!
Ai, don’t raise your eyebrows!!She attempted suicide for
being restricted from the continuous misuse of her facebook account. She, not
only, attempted suicide, but also, threatened to assault her grand parents, if
they tried to ‘interfere’ with her freedom to go for a ‘hang-out’ with her
friends in the city ‘mall’, which, obviously her parents allowed
thoughtlessly!!!!
‘Aunty, whats wrong in me going out 4 a hang-out???My parents
are just not bothered!!!! Even my mother do it with her male friends, then why
not me???!! If my Appa and Amma are not bothered, why should my Appappa and
Ammama worry about it??? When they say ’Don’t do it..’… Don’t do that’….., I
really feel like giving one right on their face!!!!’’
NO, this is not an extract from a ‘counsellor’s diary’ at
some western country…… This is an honest reproduction from a counseling session
I had here-at my office in Kochi.- of a 13 yr. old client of mine!!!!!
Let us not start our usual lecture on ‘cultural invasion’!! For all the cultureless behavior from the
part of our children, we, elders, conveniently and comfortably put the blame on
‘western culture’, ‘cultural invasion’ ‘television,’ ‘internet’ and of course, ’face-book’!
It is not just those external factors which makes children arrogant, unaccountable,
lazy and cruel-ostensibly..! From my professional experience, I feel , it is
WEAKNESS, the MAIN CAUSE of all the emotional unrest found among teenagers.
“WEAKNESS!!!!??? Oh NO!! He/She is so strong-negatively that
they are not reluctant to shout or scream or even assault and attack
elders!!!And you say they are weak!!I disagree! Strongly disagree!!!”…
Yes! Iam sure, at least some of you may say that! But, once
you go for a calm and cool analysis,you
will realize the sad truth that it is the weakness, diffidence and emotional
insecurity of the child which makes him/her scream at you, shout at you or even
raise their hands at you!!! Weakness of the self! Weakness of the personality! Lack
of clarity, vision and effective guidance!!!
We are busy providing them with all the luxuries, but fail
to tune ourselves with their emotional necessities..We, in our quest to make
them successful professionals who mint money-who get paid in dollars, we forget
to induce in them human values, moral values, social values…
If our children become ‘weaklings’, surrendering themselves
to the negatives of ‘cultural invasion’, lacking the efficiency to fight
against the evil tendencies and attitudes ,which they might, due to
multifarious reasons, encounter in their day to day life, ’Who is to be
blamed?’..’Where have we mistaken?’…What made our children unaccountable to the
self, to the family and to the society??......WHAT MADE THEM WEAK?
If they say aloud,, I’M NOT BOTHERED!!, who made them say
that? Just think for a moment friends….Who taught them not to bother about the
poor old wounded man on the streets? Who taught them not to bother about the
miseries of the people next door? Who taught them not to bother about the less
fortunate? Who taught them not to bother about the socio-political issues
affecting the society at large?
And again,……Who trained them to think ONLY of one’s own
health, one’s own wealth, one’s own career, one’s own profession, one’s own
dress, one’s own marks’, one’s own progress, one’s own success!!! YES!!!! IT IS
WE,THE ELDERS!!!!
When we trained them
to focus on one self, when we taught them to keep themselves detached from the
pulse of the society, we never knew that we are training them to detach the
stem of their existence from the roots of societal relationships, thereby,
weakening the life and existence of the ‘plant’ in itself- the personality- the
plant – keeps swaying with even the gentle breeze- and surrenders easily to
external pressures.
Let us make our children as strong as Banyan trees with
their minds and attitudes deep rooted in tradition and values. If we let their
roots of accountability spread- from the self, through the family in to the
society and gather the minerals of love and water of support from a wide area-
if we let their leaves and shoots of perception gather the sunlight of
creativity and fresh air of freedom from the environment we provide for them in
our attitudes and actions, no doubt, our children will grow up in to an
educated young citizen- strong and powerful from within and without- as strong
as a banyan tree that even a heavy storm of negativities will not be able to
touch their inner and outer self.
SAUMYA BIJU
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